I asked several Spanish speakers about this, some I knew, some I didn't. The ones I didn't know looked at me like I was crazy. My first breakthrough came when I was told that this expression is used in Nothern Mexico, but I still didn't have a definate translation. But it was clear this expression is very Mexican.
A co-worker ended up asking her mom what it meant, and she got an answer within 10 minutes. I had been looking for days.
Enough chit-chat, let's get on with it.
First of all, "calambrón" is augmentive form of calambre. A calambre is a cramp, and calambrón is a big cramp. At this point I could go on and on with my typical long winded explanations, but instead I'm going to post the explanation provided by my friends mother. After all, it's good to give credit where credit is due. Here's what she wrote:
To send someone a "calambron" is an Idiom.
There is no such word, can't really be translated.
Y mandale un calambron a mi esposa candy x ke se levanto tarde
Punch her in arm or something, put a little hurt, because she woke up late.
y ponle un calambron al Antonio prq esta bien dormido
Punch him, shake him up, because he's out cold. Or in a deep sleep.
Example of another idiom.
Pura madre. Translated is "pure mother"
But used as an idiom, means hell no!
Voy pura madre. Hell no I'm not going.
You may have noticed you got a bonus expression, "Voy pura madre". It was translated as "hell no", but I suspect it's probably stronger than that. Anything involving the word madre usually is. If you're really curious about bad words in Spanish, then check out my "No Seas Pelangoche" blog.
Now that we know what a calambrón is, let's revist our examples because there's a few things I want to point out.
Y mandale un calambrón a mi esposa candy x ke se levanto tarde
y ponle un calambrón al Antonio prq esta bien dormido
I'm sure you noticed the "x ke" and the "prq". This is text speak in Spanish. Like us, they too have an abbreviated language. "X" is short for "por". The ke, "que". Putting them together gives you "porque". "prq" in our second example is just a variation.
I could dedicate an entire post to text speak in Spanish, and in fact, there are already many articles written on it. Maybe one day I'll address this topic, but for those of you who are impatient or maybe you just need to know right now, go to http://www.google.com.mx/ and look up "diccionario sms" or "texteando".
Don't be afraid to send a "calambrón" to someone who deserves it.
¡Hasta la próxima!