Mandale un calambrón a mi esposa candy x ke se levanto tarde

Not too long ago, one my lectores (readers) asked me about the phrase "Te mando un calambrón...".  I had no idea what it meant, so I thought I'd take upon myself to find out.  I figured I'd learn something new and do a good deed at the same time.

I asked several Spanish speakers about this, some I knew, some I didn't. The ones I didn't know looked at me like I was crazy. My first breakthrough came when I was told that this expression is used in Nothern Mexico, but I still didn't have a definate translation.  But it was clear this expression is very Mexican.

A co-worker ended up asking her mom what it meant, and she got an answer within 10 minutes.  I had been looking for days.

Enough chit-chat, let's get on with it.

First of all, "calambrón" is augmentive form of calambre.  A calambre is a cramp, and calambrón is a big cramp.  At this point I could go on and on with my typical long winded explanations, but instead I'm going to post the explanation provided by my friends mother.  After all, it's good to give credit where credit is due.  Here's what she wrote:

To send someone a "calambron" is an Idiom.


There is no such word, can't really be translated.

Y mandale un calambron a mi esposa candy x ke se levanto tarde
Punch her in arm or something, put a little hurt, because she woke up late.

y ponle un calambron al Antonio prq esta bien dormido
Punch him, shake him up, because he's out cold. Or in a deep sleep.


Example of another idiom.


Pura madre. Translated is "pure mother"
But used as an idiom, means hell no!

Voy pura madre. Hell no I'm not going.

 You may have noticed you got a bonus expression, "Voy pura madre".  It was translated as "hell no", but I suspect it's probably stronger than that.  Anything involving the word madre usually is.  If you're really curious about bad words in Spanish, then check out my "No Seas Pelangoche" blog.

Now that we know what a calambrón is, let's revist our examples because there's a few things I want to point out.

Y mandale un calambrón a mi esposa candy x ke se levanto tarde
y ponle un calambrón al Antonio prq esta bien dormido

I'm sure you noticed the "x ke" and the "prq".  This is text speak in Spanish.  Like us, they too have an abbreviated language.  "X" is short for "por".  The ke, "que".  Putting them together gives you "porque".   "prq" in our second example is just a variation. 

I could dedicate an entire post to text speak in Spanish, and in fact, there are already many articles written on it.  Maybe one day I'll address this topic, but for those of you who are impatient or maybe you just need to know right now, go to http://www.google.com.mx/ and look up "diccionario sms" or "texteando". 

Don't be afraid to send a "calambrón" to someone who deserves it. 

¡Hasta la próxima!

¿Tostones o los amarillos?

So there I was, trying out a local puerto-rican restaurant for the first time.  I ordered the lunch combo, fried fish, rice and plantains.  When I ordered my plantains, that's when "la pregunta del millón" (the million dollar question) question came up.   

¿Tostones o  los amarillos?

Great.  Now what?  There I was thinking "what the hell is he talking about?".  Once again, Spanish has left me dazed and confused.  Only this time I think I had every right to be, I just didn't know it yet.

Luckily, this story did have a happy ending, I got what I wanted, some very delicious plantains.  It also started me down the path of a Spanish lesson that didn't end for a few months.

Here's what I ordered from that Puerto-rican restaurant:

We know them as plantains.  In the Spanish speaking world they're known as platanos.  Sort of.  

Let's go back to my restaurant adventures for just a minute.  If you recall, I was offered two choices when I asked for platanos.  Los amarillos o tostones.  It only took about 3 more visits to the restaurant for me to burn into my brain which is which.

Los amarillos are the delicious plantains shown in the photo above.  And at some point they were even refered to as los dulces.  Now here's a picture of tostones.

While I do enjoy this style of plantain, they aren't my favorite.  Not that you care.   Anyway, with my new found knowledge I later went to another Puerto-rican restaurant and proudly ordered "amarillos" with that confident, smug look on my face.  It disappeared quite quickly when the waitress made it clear she didn't know what I was talking about.  I also tried "los dulces".  That didn't work either.  This story ends with me not getting my amarillos, but instead I got tostones.  By the way, tostones are also called patacones.

Needless to say, I was completely confused.  And it got worse before it got better. 

Today I'm hoping this blog post will help save you from the confusion I suffered.  With that in mind, let's take a step back and talk about what a plantain is.

Here's a picture of a plantain, or plátano.  OK, two platanos.

Notice one is green and one is yellow.  While they're both platonos, the green one is called  a platano verde (a green plantain) and the other plátano maduro (a ripe plantain).  Simple, right?  Oh wait, in Mexico the plátano verde is also called a plátano macho. 

This is where things get tricky.  This is also a plátano:

No, your eyes aren't playing tricks on you.  That is what we call a banana.  Definitely not a plantain.  Also remember that the very first picture I showed you was also of platanos.  Aside from being called a plátano, it's also called a banano.  In Venezuela, it's called a cambur.  You may also hear it called a guineo. Got all that straight?  Oh, did I forget to mention you might also hear this called a banana?  With a Spanish accent of course.

I still find it hard to keep everything straight, I just hope I see something I recognize on the menu and pray for pictures.  I'm hoping you'll have better luck than me.  And if you're looking to me for advice on how to order the type of plátano you want, that's probably a bad idea, I'm batting about 50-50.  But I'll try to help you anyway. 

In general, if you want the sweet plantains, ask for platanos maduros or platanos dulces.  For the other kind, go with tostones, especially if you're in a Puerto-rican restaurant.  And don't be afraid of giving me advice, I've already admitted to only batting 50-50.  Clearly I need all the help I can get.

The last thing I'll leave you with is a link to an interesting article discussing this very subject, but it has the added bonus of several Spanish speakers chiming in.  They provide some great insight into what is what in they're respective countries.  It's in Spanish, so you can get some good practice in.

 http://www.marioberges.com/blog/2007/04/platano-y-guineo/

OK, one more last thing.   Here's another banana related post you might enjoy:

Banano-Banana-Guineo-Plátano

 ¡Hasta la próxima!

Va

Sometimes it's the simple words that get you. And this one definitely got me.

If you don't know what this means, don't feel bad. It's not your fault, your Spanish book failed you. But that's good news, because otherwise I wouldn't have anything to write about.

So what does "va" mean? Let me give you an example.

Paso por ti a las 8
Va.

I'll pick you up at 8.
Ok.

Pretty simple eh?  Of course the proper way to say this is "Esta bien", or even OK.  The good news is there's even more ways to say OK.  And yes, Spanish speakers actually say "OK".

Vale

Vale also means OK.  It's very popular in Spain, and works equally well in Mexico.  And speaking of Mexico, there's the word sale.  Sale also means OK.   And if that wasn't enough, in Mexico you can say "sale vale", which is the equivalent of okie-dokie.

Wait, I'm not done yet, there's more.  If' you're tired of saying "sí " all the time, then here's a couple of words to mix things up.

 Mexican spanish offers us two more options, sip and simon.  Simon is like yeah, and sip is along the lines of yep.   

Everything we've looked at today is informal, but sip and simon are really informal, so be sure to save those for your compas (buddies). 

Well, that's it for today.  ¡ Hasta la próxima!

O sea, comprate un bosque y piérdete

O sea, comprate un bosque y piérdete
Like, buy yourself a forest and get lost

This is a pretty nifty phrase, and I'm sure we've all been in situations where this phrase would have come in handy.  At least now you have it for future situations.   This phrase is pretty commonly used in Mexico, so use it without fear.  But there's one potential caveot that comes with it.  You might be mistaken for a fresa.  Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating, but if you can trick them into thinking you're not a gringo, then you might be mistaken for a fresa.  But I digress.

In my last post we talked about nacos. This time we're going to take a look at what it means to be a fresa. 

You can read about fresas in the Urban Dictionary by clicking here, but I'm going to give you the condensed version. 

 Fresa's are usually stuck up, have expensive clothes, cars, are usually middle high or high class, and talk different than everyone else.

 Stuck up Spanish girls or boys that have picky tastes, are extremely spoiled and always get their way, have little concern for the needs of others, and are snob, rude, and overly obnoxious.

Here in the states we call them "preppy". 

So what makes a fresa a fresa?  One trademark of a fresa, quite possibly their signature trademark, is the use of the words o sea and guey (wey, wee).    Here's a few classic fresa expressiones:

O sea,¡Vales mil!
(Eres importante)
Like, you're really important to me

O sea, mi fresh y tú cool
(Soy mejor que tú)
Like, I'm better than you. 

O sea, omítete
 (Desaparece de mi vista)
Like, get out of my site

While reading about something is good, seeing it action is always better.  And for that, we'll turn to YouTube.

Okay, they aren't real people, but our  friends in this video are definitely fresas. 

Guys can also be fresas.  In fact, someone took the time to make an entire blog dedicated to nacos and fresas.  In the video I'm about to give you the link to, you'll get to hear a naco and a fresa have conversation and hear the differences in their speech.  Here's the link:

http://nacoyfresa.blogspot.com/2006/07/naco-y-fresa-episodio-3el-niuyor.html

This video will definitely be good practice for your Spanish.

Hopefully you learned something from my this and my naco post, and maybe even got a few laughs.  To be honest, I've barely scratched the surface of nacos and fresas, not that I'm any kind of expert on the subject to begin with.  My goal of these posts is to simply entertain you and introduce you to these two cultures.  Take the time to talk with your Mexican friends about the subject or do some searches in Google or YouTube and you'll not only get a chance to practice your Spanish, but also get to know a little bit more about our Mexican neighbors and realize that we really aren't that different after all.

¡Hasta la próxima!

Ser naco es chido

In Mexico you might see someone wearing a playera (t-shirt) with this image on it.

So what is "naco"?  Urban Dictionary defines naco as:

Naco (fmn. naca) is a pejorative word often used in Mexican Spanish to describe bad-mannered and poorly educated people. A naco is usually associated with lower socio-economic classes, but could also sometimes include the nouveau riche.

 In English you can relate this to being "ghetto", or "poor white trash". More generically, it means you come from the wrong side of the tracks.  The term isn't always used in a negative manner, but you really gotta know when, where, how, and more importantly who you can use it with it.  If you're familiar with the usage of ghetto and poor white trash, you've got a leg up on how the word naco is used and what it represents.  For women, it changes to naca. 

Several definitions for Naco have been posted at Urban Dictionary, it's worthwhile to take the time to read them all.

Now that we've gotten definitions out of the way, what sort of things are considered "naco"?  The video below is going to help us out with that.   Pay close attention, you'll see lots poorly written (mal escrito) signs (letreros) and the classic bathroom graffiti that's really pretty rude but usually makes us laugh anyway.  This footage in this video is from somewhere in Mexico.

I found this video to be pretty entertaining, and is a good test of your Spanish.  Some of the errores (mistakes) in the signs can be a bit tricky to figure out.  It took me a minute on some of them.  But then again, I also had help from my maestra.

Enough talk, here's the video.

Why don't you leave a comment about your favorite letrero in the video?  If there was something you didn't understand, leave a comment and maybe I can help you out.

I almost forgot.  We still need to translate our phrase.

Ser naco es chido
It's cool to be ghetto

You can't talk about being naco without talking about being a fresa, but in this entrada (post), I'm only going to cover naco.  In another post we'll find out what "fresa" is and step a little deeper into the culture of  "naco vs fresa".

Amar Te Duele is a decent movie that place in Mexico and is the classic love story between  two teenagers from different worlds, naco and fresa. Sort of a modern day Romeo and Juilet story.

I hope you enjoyed the video, I got qute a few laughs myself.

Hasta la próxima.